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Divorce - An easy way out?
by Ralph Crainer
http://www.divorcey.com
Problems can crop up in any marriage. Managing them needs
dedication and hard work. But the reward for the effort can
be well worth it. Divorce isn't'talways the alternative to
working through the rough times of marraige -- not for
everybody.
Talking it out
A lot of the problems in relationships come from a lack of
open and honest communication. While yelling and arguing
may seem like you're communicating, you aren't. You need to
step back for a moment and take yourself out of the anger
and the need to be right and see what the problems are.
Concerns that need attention vary from couple to couple. No
matter what the issue -- be it infidelity or incompatibility
in other areas -- discuss things honestly. Speaking frankly
without assigning blame or being judgmental helps. Affirm
your need for appreciation, respect and love. Talk about the
things you feel will help you in realizing these goals. It
is a good idea to write down your thoughts and read each
other's reflections without interruption before discussing
them together.
Let your partner read out their letter fully without
interruption before you respond. You may find his/her letter
sounding exactly like yours!
Seeking professional help
A trained marriage counselor can be the best help for many
troubled couples. The unbiased observations and access to
methods of healing can give you both something to work
toward fixing and create a stronger bond in the long run.
Of course, you will also need the support of your friends
and family during this hard time. Keep the lines of
communication open in case you need help seeing if you are
being unreasonable. Make sure that you pick honest friends
to talk with and help keep your mind healthy.
If everything else fails
If nothing seems to work and your relationship with your
partner is getting worse, it may be time to think of a
divorce. What often happens is that couples rush into
divorce without trying to work through their problems first.
But many times, marriages can be saved and helped with
communicating and working together to rebuild the marriage.
Having said that, remaining married despite irreconcilable
differences, for the sake of the children is normally not
the best alternative. Children irrespective of age perceive
the conflict between their parents and the ensuing sadness
that pervades the home. Having to grow up in that atmosphere
is not right or healthy for the children.
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